The Hatch Files

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Braden M Did you know humans and dolphins are the only species to have sex for pleasure... Is that why Flipper is always smiling..
MadDog and making that EE! EE! EE! noise....

Braden M I'm pretty maggoted
Braden M just thought I would tell ya
Braden M for no reason at all
Braden M cause I thought I wqould thats all
Braden M ya know..
MadDog faaaarrk!!! SHUT UUUPPP!!
MadDog heheh
Braden M jsut seeing how many meesages I'd send before you';s sden me one
Braden M hehe.. sorry dude
Braden M fuckin alcohol
MadDog learn to type maggot!
Braden M yeah.. fuck typing.. bloody busted arse keyboard
Braden M its not my fault.. keyboursed
Braden M look.. I can still spell cunt.. hehe.. cunt cunt cutn
Braden M whoops.think I made a ytpe
Braden M i mean.. type
Braden M whoops.. I mean typoo
MadDog typo?
Braden M you get what I mean
Braden M yup
Braden M sorry.. I really gotta crash
MadDog dont make me ignore you boy!
Braden M ooh.. ok then
MadDog heheh.... crash on...
MadDog heheh
Braden M yup.. sonds good.. catchya

Braden M When Jesus is talking about his eternal kingdom of Heaven in the Bible, I think he's really just talking about Jewel's boobs. I can't put into words how wonderful they are.Jewel's boobs are genetically perfect, 100% real, and are completely covered up most of the time. This makes you THAT MUCH MORE eager to see them. Think about it, do you STILL wanna see Jenny McCarthy naked?
Braden M Jewel's boobs prove that a poor Eskimo girl who plays folk guitar, writes poetry about butterflies, and has crooked teeth can STILL make every guy on the planet want to play "Foolish Games" in her poop-shooter.

Braden M Deep down inside, Mimes are probably screaming, in fact. I bet they beat their kids.
MadDog ... and then eat their corpses...

MadDog I love haikus.. theyre cool...
Braden M I know.. hehe
Braden M Mild mannered doctor by day, by night he becomes the great butt-pirate!
Braden M Willy Wonka says the Oompa Loompas are short sawed-off little fucks.
Braden M I punched my best friend So he'd stop having seizures Cracked his skull open.
Braden M My favorite song Is "Puff The Magic Dragon." It's all about pot!
Braden M I will know true love when I see it, because it leaves nasty brown stains!
Braden M I have translated Monosodium glutamate It's Latin for "butt."
Braden M Her heart, full of dreams still beats even after I rip it from her chest.
Braden M My wife was so sweet. Too bad I had to eat her after the plane crashed.
MadDog Elephant scrotum pulled over my head so I can see the future.
MadDog I ate some chili spiked with LSD, now my farts make the walls bleed.

Braden M hehehe.. you've left your icq on.. now you are at my mercy.. proceeds to make you bow and be at my mercy.. *mission accomplished*
MadDog I dontz needz your ztinking merciez!

MadDog and I always have to steal my chickens from yooouu... yes I always have to steal my chickens from yooouu... ...
Braden M hehehe.. thats not the lyrics.. but pretty funny all the same
MadDog heheh.. Noel came up with that version....
Braden M hahahaha.. I sures hell wouldn't have guessed that.

MadDog Black beans and pajamas keep all the donkeys in key. Eat shrimp with cereal for super goodness fruit flavors.
Braden M where did you learn all that?
MadDog Hot was hot with the hottness. Hottie hottie hotskins.
Braden M hotskins.. Mmmm.. sounds like spicey redskins.. :-)
MadDog sore glass cutters!
Braden M susie marroni pasta sausce
MadDog Sheesh, where's the damn martinis already?!?
Braden M Indigo.. indigo sanchez
MadDog John Williams!
Braden M silly silly bandana man
MadDog Lets ask Doctor Ho.. he knows!
Braden M Doctor who??? hehe
MadDog no.. doctor HO!
Braden M oh.. I see now see the man with no eye balls
MadDog How does T-Rex play the piano with those little arms?
Braden M Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? I've never heard of that dam city at all....
MadDog Baby seal, baby seal, stabbed in the back, shot in the eyes, clubbed in the head
Braden M Velocoraptors coming from all directions.. thump... thump.. ahhhh.. I'm young again.
MadDog Good boy! Here's a rhino treat! That's it... you like those? They're marshmallow flavored.
Braden M Zanzabar yelled across the room to Hiroheeto..... Don't touch the pink ones.. they're mine
MadDog That's strange. Regina never asks for a second cup of coffee at home...
Braden M Scratching around the aftermath, I never could work out when 'it' decided to have suicidal tendancies.
MadDog Young Darwin finally filled the jar of his navel lint collection...
Braden M Cranbourne...

Braden M last night I was having an in depth discussion with me mate mick from bairnsdale about the chick in the ford festiva add.. heeh
MadDog hheeh.. and what conclusion did you arrive to?
Braden M We decreed that within every add that comes on the tv, that should be the add that comes on, and it should focus more on her, and she should be made to jump up and down a few times as well.
MadDog nude?
Braden M oh yeah.. there should be some nudity as well.. and then plenty of jumping up and down..
MadDog yes...

MadDog heheh.. I heard some disturbing rumours about the final episode in the series...
Braden M yeah.. same here.. dawson dies.. but yeah.. I don't wanna listen to that.
MadDog yeah.. drowns in the creek, and thats why its called dawson's creek...
Braden M hehe.. yeah.. then they can just call it creek.. since he's dead.

MadDog i like creamy soda.. its so creamy...
Braden M full of creamy goodness

Braden M Hey.. did ya know that knob backwards is bonk.. and yeah.. well bugger me.. thats what ya do with it hey.. cool stuff..
MadDog yeah... and boobies backwards is seiboob... and I see boobs!!
Braden M yeah.. kinda I guess..

MadDog I shall smite thee with mine Throbber of Justice!
Braden M Throbber of justice?? what exactly is that?
MadDog THIS... is my Throbber of Justice!! Cower in it's infinte wibblyness!!
Braden M *dodges wibblyness with the utmost swiftability..*
MadDog Get back here!!! You can not escape that which throbs with so much velocity!
Braden M I'm getting a bit uneasy regarding the whole throbbing thing... and with much velocity, well that isn't helping my situation here..
MadDog Okay.. I'll put it away.. *de-throbbing sound* Sorry to scare you like that boyo...
Braden M yeah.. that throbbing sound was getting to me.. and also that de-throbbing sound as well, but I'm calm and collect now, knowing that I am safe from the throbbingness that was surrounding me.

MadDog Cool-aid?
Braden M is that like.. a band-aid, but you can drink it, and it fixes you from the inside out?
MadDog sorry.. I meant cool-ade...
Braden M oh.. d'oh
MadDog want some?
Braden M sounds alright actually..
MadDog *pours a nice tall and tangy glass of cool-ade*

Braden M isn't taken.. cool.. register man.. before they steal it away from you forever...
MadDog nah.. I've already got and that should do me for now...

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