The Hatch Files

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MadDog if it takes a man and a half a day and a half to walk a mile and a half, how long does it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a cucumber?
Braden M HUH.. i'm sorry, but thats just fucked.

MadDog nice ass out in the cafe.. oop! she's sat down now.. too bad..
Braden M huh.. is it worth a look?
MadDog nah.. gone now.. was nice b4 hough
Braden M oh.. I should have had a peek.
MadDog yeah.. tight white jeans..
Braden M oh shit man.. you've gotta tell me when these chicks walk out there like that.. I need to have a daily fix I hope you realise.. or else I'll get even more perverted.
MadDog yes... we cant have your perversion levels rise above 1500 or else there will be no stopping you...
Braden M I know.. or I might turn into perversion man.. and nobody wants to see that.
MadDog Then I'll have to go on an epic adventure to collect the 7 pervo-balls to give me the ultimate power to stop you!
Braden M I know.. and defeat the evil.. bumtittybum boss...
MadDog that was lame
Braden M I know.. *whimpers back into corner*

MadDog she says she grabbed the first shirt from her closet.. which leads me to believe it IS the only shirt she has...
Braden M hehehe.. good point..

Braden M hehehe.. these conversations between you and I are fucked.. I don't remember half of this shit.. hehehe.. is funny, is good!

Braden M Look at me.. I'm on holidays.. YaYY
Braden M there's an excuse for a celebration.. party at my house in 5 minutes and your invited.. :-) it'll be special..
MadDog screw that... we get pizzas... you stay home and not have any!
Braden M oh.. you not fun, me piss on your head..
MadDog euuu.. dont do that man...
Braden M ok.. sorry man.. me piss in your ear instead..
MadDog euuuu...
Braden M ok.. I would clean your ear out first too make sure it wouldn't mix with any icky stuff..
MadDog stop it man.. youre making me sick man...
Braden M sorry dude.. didn't mean to make you sick, all I want to do is piss in your ear??? :-)
Braden M oh, and by the way, all that was meant to be said in a guido type snake man type voice.!
MadDog ahhh... so youre not really braden... youre like guido or something...
Braden M yeah.. *heaving breathing*.. yesh mashter..
MadDog *thwack*
Braden M *enjoys that thwack with much enthusiasim.*
MadDog you do enjoy a bit of a thwack from time to time, dont you?
Braden M occaisionly, mainly on sundays though, if I don't pick up saturday night.. (not)
MadDog EEEUUUOOOO!! Youre being all yucky again...
Braden M well you brought it on big boy..
MadDog AHH! Dont call me big boy.... *gag*
Braden M *rappin* hey, you gonna be da big boy in town, ho you gonna be da big boy in town.. hey

Braden M BRB stands for Back Rub Boy. Thats what people say when the back rub boy comes to visit. BRB
MadDog I love that guy... he brings me grapes...
Braden M n'ah.. otherwise he'd be the BRGB back rub grape boy!
MadDog ahhh.. but he only brings me grapes... noone else..
Braden M well thats the main thing I guess... the grapes.. phew..

MadDog yeah!!! item 666 in the craft creations website is a flock of birds!!!!! how weird is that? Its insane!
Braden M Oooh.. yeah.. but I'm sure they'd be evil birds all the same..

Braden M Courtney Love, don't throw it all away....
MadDog hmmm.. i see your point....
Braden M its the song man.. courtney love.. na na na narr...
MadDog no... really.. your fly's undone.. I can see your point.. literally.. put it away man...
Braden M Arrrgghhhh.. dam buggered zip jeans.. oh well.. I get that.. ;-)

Braden M tell kate i get her messages fine now, but I can't send to her.
MadDog done
Braden M weird arse.. your messages go thru instantaneously..
MadDog I am the lord.. tahts why...
Braden M yeah.. didn't think of that reason
MadDog good... now sleep my child...
Braden M *dozes off into a lordly sleep*

MadDog Gracie will soon have an excuse to do some bad street theatre...
Braden M why would she? Is she getting a new job?
MadDog becoming a uni student
Braden M oh yeah.. so she's gonna enrol.. good for her.
MadDog yeah... she's gunna be a massager...
Braden M If I were you i'd be excited, in more ways than one.. hehe

MadDog Phwoaarr! Mmm.. talk about a bit of tasty crumpet action...
Braden M where????
MadDog I was just talking about what I had for breakfast this morning... what did you think I was taking about?

Braden M spam??
MadDog yeah, I got your damn spam right here, pal...
Braden M no... me no spam no ma'am no more.. say that quickly and it sounds like a rap song.
MadDog mmmmm(runs around the block)mmmmm(cooks some soup)mmmmmo!
Braden M sushi up your bum....
MadDog Wow.. cool.. I didnt know I could do that!
Braden M either do I.. I saw the photos on the rectum site.. the x-rays look pretty devistating, but I applaud you..
MadDog .. and I only ended up needing 5 stitches...
Braden M 5.. where's the digital camera when ya need one.. LOL
MadDog hehehe... but then you wont be able to reach it! HAAA!!
Braden M yeah.. I guess so.. maybe we could try taking a picture with the digital camera of the inside of someones arsehole.. or then again.. maybe not..

MadDog cool..
Braden M looc... another variation..
MadDog interesting... and somehow satisfying...
Braden M satifying, and somehow interesting..
MadDog yes..

MadDog what are you talking about?
Braden M buffy...
MadDog does she have specioal powers...
Braden M well.. This human/demon hybrid thing called Adam meets up with buffy after she discovers new powers that she never knew she had.
MadDog whoo.. can she fly and shoot laser beams from her eyes and stuff? adam is scary...
Braden M I know.. I wanna get a costume like that adam one.. its wicked.. I wanna go down the street freaking out little kiddies.. hehe
MadDog and then skewering them and mutilating their dead bodies... that'd be a cool prank...
Braden M hehe.. yup.. I wonder if the cops would try to get me.. after all, I would be a human/demon hybrid.
MadDog nar, but buffy will try to kill you though, and thats not so good...
Braden M hmm.. yeah.. I guess so.. or unless she, being Buffy tried to go me, and I kinda just got a bit rough with her and held her down over my groin and kinda had sex with her... that wouldn't be so bad.. :-)
MadDog heheh... groin....
Braden M hehe... yeah.. I know.. groin is a funny word.. but yeah.. I don't think Riley would be too happy about the whole situation.
MadDog nar.. you could kill him... buffy wont mind now that she's gettin a bit of real action...
Braden M yeah.. you're darn right... and what a piece of action that would be..
MadDog yeah... like... umm... good action.. yeah!! good...
Braden M hehe.. yeah.. multiple bona action.. *secret smile*
MadDog psst.. i saw your secret smile... haaa.. its not a secret anymore!! I'm gonna tell the world!
Braden M Nooooooooooooooo... *proceed to remove the secret smile with a wrench and disgard over the nearest bridge*
MadDog :o(

Braden M Where did she go??
MadDog decided to take a day off...
Braden M a day off??? geez.. what.. to get prices on leg extensions ??
Braden M and also a price on voice box pitch lowering.. it can be done ya know.. :-)
MadDog anything else?
Braden M umm.. a new wardrobe..
Braden M maybe some new hair as well.. and maybe making her head just below the cheek bone and beyond a bit chunkier too..
MadDog and also to have that that pole yanked..*cough*.. stopping now
Braden M oh yeah.. that as well.. and good fuck up the arse to fix anything I've missed.
MadDog HAHAHA!! You realise I cant put any of this on my homepage now.. dangit...
Braden M just edit it.. um.. you'll think of something.. hehe
MadDog I could do that too... heheh.. kylie says "Too far, too farkin faaarrr..."

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