The Russ

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Russ You will experience the joy of seeing a small child's face light up like a Christmas tree when you grind your cigarette into his petrol-soaked hair.

Russ have a good weekend?
MadDog as good as gold and twice as shiney

Russ Do you prefer a beating with a newspaper over a magazine?
MadDog news paper for sure....

Russ there i was, camera's rolling, hanging by my feet upside down from the roof at madame kiki's bondage emporium wondering how i'd got myself into another one of these messes. It was about then when i started getting my suspicions about the whole, brownies bondage for bucks charity thing. There was something odd about the whole set up that didn't sit well with me. And madame kiki was definately no girl-scout.

Russ Justifications for why she feels uncomforable watching you masturbate: 1. It's too early in the relationship and she doesn't want to feel easy. 2. She's a frigid tease who shouldn't have been playing the game if she was going to feel shame. 3. It was her fault for sitting next to you on the bus anyway.

Russ Top Five signs that tim pulled his patented, "Got Ready For Work in Eight Minutes" routine this morning:

5. Unshaven.
4. Hoping that the shower last night and the rexona will hold up.
3. Socks Don't Match
2. Doesn't have work keys and is using the emergency ones.
1. Wearing a hat to disguise the fact his hair is out of control.
MadDog Heee... got the same thing happning here...
Russ The worst thing is, I spent four minutes looking for my keys this morning so really it was a four minute preparation. That shifts it to Defcon 2.
Russ Defcon 1 is not having changed yer socks and undies. Which fortunately I did.
MadDog Phew!

MadDog MY GOD! A chick from the cafe just walked past... each breast bigger than my head... wow!

Russ So you comin to my 21st?
MadDog have I been invited?
Russ You just were.
MadDog YAAY! Well then ofcourse I'll be there..... I miss you man!!
Russ Excellent, plan is coming into fruition!... err i mean i miss you too man.
Russ Ok you will be recieving your "fun pack" including directions, show bag, ticket to fun and photo of myself so you wont upstage me on the night dress wise.
MadDog I shall wear a sack and a tie...
Russ good work. In fact you will be getting none of those forementioned items yer on your own. Also i'm still negotiating if i can get everyone to put in five bucks each and get the tab extended to include spirits.
MadDog mmmm.... boooze... well that might turn off those that dont drink spirity stuff...
Russ do.... dri.. ... don't drink spirity stuff? Who on earth wouldn't drink spirity stuff?
MadDog hmmm... the amish?
Russ no i didn't invite her.
MadDog thats good.. she annoys the hell out of me...
Russ yeah her with all of her farming and non-power using and stuff.
MadDog yeah... and every 5 minutes with her "LETS RAISE A BARN! LETS RAISE A BARN!".. it makes me sick...
Russ yeah me too..... nice hooters though.
MadDog yeah.. 'tis a crying shame... they make ya wanna sit up and scream for butermilk...
Russ sweeeeeet sweeeeet buttermilk..
MadDog hey, are you gonna supply the crash helmet? because I dont do the cannon without a cash helmet... I gotta call my agent...
Russ of course.
MadDog goood...
Russ just don't land on the drum kit like last time.
MadDog believe me, I dont wanna have to go through THAT kind of surgery again....
Russ good. by the way i think i still have a peice of your ear.
MadDog aahh!! keep it for me wont you?
Russ Sure.
MadDog Ta
Russ Excellent so i'm going.
MadDog Fare thee well fine fellow...

Russ you a web god yet?
MadDog even better.. I'm a web architect!
Russ nup you've always been that. I'm talkin' pontiff here.
MadDog Ahhh... no I havent attained that status yet.. I need 4000 more experience points and the Staff of Netscapia. Then, dear friend, the net will be MINE!
Russ well that is..*rolls 20 sided dice and lands on 20* excellent to hear!
MadDog Excelcior!
Russ lets not get carried away.
MadDog youre right.. I'm so close.. I cant allow myself to get foolish and squander away all I've earned... Thankyou for your guidance, great Oracle... umm.. Tim...
Russ I'm sure you have always known the truth grasshopper you just hadn't wanted to realise it until now. Now, take this pebble from my hand.
Russ If you want to destroy my sweater, hold this thread as a I walk away... errr grasshopper.
MadDog HAHAH!... um. ahem... yes.. *takes object from your hand* *replaces jade fertility idol* *takes pebble from other hand* Oops.. wrong hand... sorry...
Russ 'tis ok...
MadDog hey.. where can I get me one of them?
Russ one of what?
MadDog one of them there... ahem.. fertility idols...
Russ you can have mine if you wish?
MadDog Oh, I couldnt possibly... oh thankyou!!! *does the fertility dance*
Russ no the fertility does not dance.

Russ yoyo
Mikey dont mind if I do... *eats the yoyo biscuit* TAYSTEE!!

Russ Yo ma niggah! How's it. I be missin' you ma bruvva!
Mikey i dun was bin missin you to bruzcuznuz...

Mikey Hey, when it launches, the new version of my hompage has a complete collection of your ICQ "... so " messages... :)
Russ No schitt man. I thought i'd lost those, Ace!
Russ ..'member to put copyright 1999 or sumptin on it.
Mikey heheh... I've gone through so many ICQ logs lately...
Russ Find anything else of interest?
Mikey quite a few wacky conversations...
Russ Including guest appreances by aerosmith, bon jovi, the scared weird little guys, hanson....
Mikey and the little fat kid from hey dad...
Russ Aww, boot that's not fair meester kelly!
Mikey HAHAH.. hup.. nature calls... brbr
Russ "brbr"? Is it that cold in the dunny?
Mikey quite, I got stuck to the seat...
Russ Don't you know not to lick frozen things yet?
Mikey I thought that only happened in the movies... well now I know better...
Russ Yeap, hey and remember not to go through doors before you open them too, little tip for ya fella.
Mikey even wooden doors?
Russ even wooden doors.
Mikey wow.. I'm sure glad I spoke to you today...
Russ Hey don't mention it, and mikey, stay away from lions and the hollow end of pistols.
Mikey even the Sex Pistols?
Russ no mikey that doesn't include the sex pistols.
Mikey phew....
Russ Can't you see that... oh never mind.
Russ gtg boyo
Mikey F.A.B. JOHN!!

Russ are you reading this? (testing firewall)

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